"Dudes really get butt hurt when women vent about things they find annoying/intrusive. “Oh but what about me, what about how I feel”… -_____-. Way to miss the point."
That was a post from clairebearology
She posted this last night and it got my wheels turning.
What I never seem to understand is the men on tumblr who call themselves our “allies” and say they understand feminism have this very abrasive way of dealing with it.
if a woman says she does not like the doors held open for her or to teach men not to rape or hey i do not like it when men approach me feeling entitled to a conversation.
" OH SHE IS IRRATIONAL, THAT IS SO SAD, OMG OMG OMG.. YOU SEE WHY CHIVARLY IS DEAD.. WHY YOU SO MAD!?.. THIS ISN’T REAL FEMINISM.. LET ME PULL SOME STATS OF A RAINN WEBSITE TO GIVE YOU THE TRUE T … SMH"…etc. etc.
but its never..
" I respect that, hey fellow men if a woman doesn’t want you to open her door then do not open it for her."
“Man, i know i am not a rapist,most men aren’t but here are some tips on what is appropiate and what is not in certain situations”
" Hey guys, if a woman is not interested , leave her alone, she is not obligated to stop whatever she is doing to speak to you..street harrasment is never OK."
simple like that…
but no you want to make it a debate and “an open discussion” and dare i use the word misogny or privilege or point out a fault, I will be argued down instead of even beginning to understand.. you deny and deny and exclaim your sole innoncence in the matter because you are not misogynistic or participate in a patriarchal society.. ”you got a mama and sisters”…”you are better than that”… or simply “you just do not see it that way…”
Then when a woman says she doesn’t care about male opinions…
" THAT’S A DOUBLE STANDARD.. TO SAY THAT IS JUST AS BAD A SEXIST"
It’s almost like you go out of your way to make her feel bad for not wanting the attention of men or having whatever feminist belief that she has because it is not “logical” or it is “irrational” to you. Why are your opinions and concerns more valid than ours because you are trying to look at it subjectively, you want us to include the male perspective.. why though?
Feminism is not subjective.. it’s about women’s experience and her having a voice on WHATEVER she has a voice on, whether you agree or not. It’s not a debate.
We understand that most men are not rapists, sexist, misogynist or against us in anyway and we appreciate that.
But instead of trying to tell us what we should or shouldn’t be mad at/concerned with or where to get our facts from other than our own personal experience (because they are not good enough for some reason), you should be focusing your energy on teaching more men to be like you (that is if you truely and really are an ally) .
So please get off your white horse and take off the shiny armor and stand next to us if you really about that feminist life. I am not saying agree with everything we believe in but stop trying to
correct whatever it is you do not agree with.
It’s not for you to do that.